Ask people how they take care of themselves and you will receive varying answers. Some can confidently tell you a list of things they do to practice self-care. But for most people, they will give vague answers. This is due to the fact that they feel guilty for prioritizing self-care due to their overwhelming responsibilities. They are simply intimidated by the hard truths related to caring for themselves.
There are many reasons many of us are intimidated by self-care. Here are some worth mentioning:
We Are Afraid to Disappoint Ourselves
Some people think prioritizing self-care is actually selfish. This is especially true when you already have responsibilities, aka your own family. When you have kids to take care of and bills to pay, it is easy to think it is quite selfish to think about our needs and wants first before our family.
You have loads of household chores waiting for you. Your kids are still little, and they demand your attention all hours of the day. Even your spouse could use some of your love care, making it hard to set aside little time for self-care.
But the truth is, self-care is not selfish. In reality, caring for yourself is only fair. Remember that you can only give as much as you have.
You cannot give your family the best version of yourself if you are unhealthy and unhappy. Poor self-care is as good as self-neglect. The more you neglect yourself, the more emptiness you will feel and the more resentment you will harbor towards yourself and others.
We Fear That Our Acts of Self-care Can Scare People Away
There are some people who view self-care as pure luxury. Taking some time off of your busy schedule to enjoy the things you like doing and that makes you feel good can intimidate other people. They view you as high-maintenance which is something most people think is a bad thing.
Remind yourself that you deserve the best things, too. You don’t necessarily need to explain to other people why you deserve a monthly trip to your favorite med spa and why you’re getting all those skin treatments. Choose to do things that make you feel good for your own sake.
Remember that the people who love you will appreciate the fact that you are taking great care of yourself in the best ways you know. The right people won’t be scared of a strong and independent individual. They will only appreciate the fact that you are doing all these things for yourself and no one else.
We Find It Hard to Say No
When was the last time you offered emotional support to a loved one even if you too badly needed to give this to yourself? Can you recall the last time you had to help a loved one with their issues when you also have your own problems to take care of? This only goes to show just how hard it is for us to put ourselves first before anybody else.
Remember that you don’t owe anyone what little time you have to spare for yourself. You don’t need to put anyone’s needs before you especially if they can’t do the same for you. Also, there is no point in always saying yes to someone when in reality, all you wanted was to say no.
Learning how to say no to others also means learning how to say yes to yourself more. The more you say yes to yourself, the happier, healthier, and in control, you will feel. This will make you realize how establishing healthy boundaries can be beneficial for your health and well-being.
We Are Afraid to Admit We Are Wrong
Self-care is not just about indulging in things you like doing and staying away from things you don’t like dealing with. It is also about admitting you did something wrong and that you need to hold yourself responsible. Self-care makes us learn the importance of growing up, taking in more responsibility, and being accountable no matter the results of our choices are.
If you really care about yourself, you will love yourself regardless of who you are in the past. You should be willing to learn how to be a better person so you can mold yourself into someone you will be proud of in the future. Be brave to accept the consequences of whatever decisions you made and will make in the future.
Don’t be afraid to admit when you do something wrong. Allow a sense of vulnerability and openly talk about your shortcomings. It is only when you start accepting yourself will you be able to truly love yourself for who you are.
Our fears and doubts are the very reasons we fail to indulge in self-care. But remember that you are only human. You will make mistakes, your responsibilities will only continue to grow, and you deserve to have fun and feel loved. The best love is self-love. If you can’t love and take good care of yourself, then you won’t be able to give your best love and care to your loved ones.